Ith (ithildyn) wrote,

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Because This Will Make Nin Do the Velociraptor Laugh

I know this will make Nin spit all over the monitor. Note to self: allow her no beverages till after she reads it. (you can visit my live in stalker here)

Get one of your own! by Drunken Hero

Stalking is illegal. ithidrial confronts ninjababe.

ninjababe is stalking ithidrial
ninjababe’s REAL name : Sharpe Hanley
ninjababe’s REAL DOB : 16th January 1976
Height :178 cm Weight : 60.2 kg
ninjababe has dreamt about you : 24 times
ninjababe became interested in you : 22nd May 2004
ninjababe’s latest dream about you
After a brief rendezvous in a unisex spa, the two lovers decide to make kittens behind an unattended reception desk. 5 minutes into the experience David Hasselhoff mysteriously appears at the desk with his hand resting casually on the side of his cheek trying to surpress the grin that by-now has engulfed his face. He steals a glimpse of your genetalia before disappearing as quickly as he came.
This is how ninjababe describes your relationship behind your back
‘We are still friends. I think. I hope. ithidrial told me it was her father’s idea to get the restraining order, so we’re cool’
ninjababe’s been stealing stuff from your house too.
ninjababe enjoys collecting ithidrial’s dead pets for a living.
They’ve even started modifying their body for you
ninjababe had the lower part of their legs removed in order to compensate for the difference in height between the two of you. Needless to say, you were suitably unimpressed when ninjababe came to see you next.
They sent the following message to you in a Valentines
Fuck me darling! Fuck me now! Fuck me whilst I’m limber! It won’t be long before we both have arthiritis anyway!

The Police
No. calls to the police : 20 times
Your Last Call to The Police
"Hello look this is a bit embarassing, I have a stalker who keeps trying to climb over our perimeter fencing and they seem to have become impaled on it again. Could you please send someone over to check it out? Thanks."
ninjababe’s Police File
ninjababe poses no real threat to society at large, unless of course your name is ithidrial. In that case, you are royally fucked.

Testimonies about ninjababe
pat_t - Flaccid Pornstar
‘ninjababe was always one of us. One of the gang. We never suspected anything. I’m really shocked..’
mandragora1 - Loves staring at dead bodies
‘It just goes to show that the world is full of sick, twisted perverts. I’m gonna fucking kill ninjababe!’
coyo_kokopelli - Marathon Munt
‘You think you know a person and then something like this comes out of the blue. Fuck that, I’m becoming a recluse.’
brynnamorgan - Geek isn’t the word
‘Thank Christ I never let ninjababe into my house. God the thought of it all gives me the creeps!’

Seen over at rashaka's


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