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16 June 2014 @ 06:53 pm
Keeps Keeping On  
Took a bad fall Saturday, twisted my foot, smashed my knee up. I'll live. Hurts a lot though. In the end, it's just one more thing to deal with. Still catch myself seeing 'For Rent' signs and thinking 'that might work for Tammy'. Then I remember she's dead. I try not to cry if people are around. Pretty sure everyone's tired of me by now. Haven't written a word, and have absolutely no desire to write. There's just nothing there to put on the page. All I really want to do is sleep, but can't even manage that properly either. Pretty sure in the dictionary next to the word 'fail' is a picture of me.

On Dreamwidth, this post has comment count unavailable comments ~ feel free to comment on either journal.
patpat_t on June 17th, 2014 01:13 am (UTC)
I'm so sorry this happened. The PWFC did a dedication vid in honor of all those we lost in the club. It was a very somber moment.
cincoflexcincoflex on June 17th, 2014 02:18 am (UTC)
Not 'fail' but 'hurting' perhaps. I empathize deeply sweetie. My own creativity is at a standstill and I haven't been motivated to do anything since mom and my uncle died.

That's okay. You are grieving several losses right now and you need to let your heart and emotions have the freedom to do so. So please let yourself rest, reflect and heal, all right?

And keep posting: we care about you out there.
Chris: Having a Bad Daysharpiesgal on June 17th, 2014 02:24 am (UTC)
bugeyedmonsterbugeyedmonster on June 17th, 2014 03:58 am (UTC)
Sending hugs.
spockside on June 17th, 2014 04:32 am (UTC)
All of the above, tenfold. Hang in there - we're listening.
fkastriderfkastrider on June 18th, 2014 02:04 am (UTC)
I don't see "fail" either, but definitely "hurt", "loss", and "mourning". I expect it will take a while.

I still occasionally look to Tammy's LJ page and expect something.

It would have been so cool if she had moved out to Utah.
fkastriderfkastrider on June 19th, 2014 01:55 am (UTC)
tpena19tpena19 on June 19th, 2014 06:14 am (UTC)
**soft comfort hugs**
I_llbedammned: Sadnessi_llbedammned on June 24th, 2014 09:00 pm (UTC)
Seeing the traces of people who used to be around a lot sting for a lot longer than they should. It's completely reasonable to feel that way. It doesn't make you "fail".
Queen of Sassgard: hornystarhawk2005 on July 20th, 2014 06:47 pm (UTC)
*big hugs* My insomnia is pretty bad lately too. I feel for you. *sends big ice-pack for your knee and foot*