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07 July 2008 @ 11:25 am
Ficlet: 'Black Isn't My Colour' (01/01)  
Yeah, yeah, yeah... Tell me about it. The tipping point was the conversation over at ironman_lounge this morning, and the result was this.

Characters: Agent Coulson, Michael Westen.
Notes: PG, Iron Man/Burn Notice.
Summary: Michael considers a unique employment opportunity.

Black Isn't My Colour


The guy at the corner table screamed 'Fed' – black suit, black tie, white shirt. But more than that, it was the air of innocuousness that contrasted with eyes that didn't miss a thing. Yeah. He was definitely the meeting.

Walking over, he took a seat opposite the fed without waiting for an invitation. "Michael Westen," he introduced himself. "You rang?"

"I did, Mr. Westen. Agent Phil Coulson, SHIELD."

"Never heard of it."

"That isn't surprising, Mr. Westen. Not many have. We're an agency with a very unique imperative."

"It's good to be special." He sounded bored, though he was anything but. A covert government agency he'd never heard of?

Agent Coulson's lips hinted at something that almost might have been a smile in the right light. "Speaking of which, you're something of a special case yourself."

"Oh, come on now; don't believe everything you read, Agent Coulson. I'm just a guy trying to make a living."

"I suppose that's one perspective."

Feigning impatience, he sighed. "Look, while this has been fun, can we get to the point of just why you asked me here?"

"It's fairly simple, Mr. Westen. You're a man with unique talents; talents that SHIELD could use." Before Michael could respond, he added, "No, we had nothing to do with the burn notice, but we can make it go away.”

"If I come work for you." He was insanely curious. Did Coulson's outfit really have the pull to override the Agency?

Coulson nodded. "If you come work for us."

"Okay, let's say I accept your incredibly kind offer. Hypothetically of course, just what would I be doing for SHIELD?"

"Hypothetically, you'd be in charge of a very special project. I'm assuming you've heard of Tony Stark?"

Nodding, he replied, "Yeah, it was all over the papers. Said he was Iron Man. A real three ring circus. If that was SHIELD's handiwork, you guys need some practice on the whole covert thing." Smiling a smile that was all teeth, he leaned back in his chair. Oh yeah, that got a reaction.

"Mr. Stark is unpredictable," Coulson allowed. "And as such, requires very particular handling."

Voice pitched low, he asked, "You need him taken care of? Is that what this is about?" Damn it, he might want out from under the burn notice, but assassinating a U.S. citizen, a very famous one at that, wasn't how he'd choose to go about it.

"Nothing quite so dramatic, Mr. Westen," he said dryly. "Quite the opposite, in fact. Mr. Stark's brain is considered something of a national security asset; an asset that would be your job to protect."

"I baby-sit the billionaire playboy superhero and that gets me out from under the burn notice?" He sounded doubtful.

This time Coulson actually chuckled. "Believe me, it will be more than a fair exchange. You haven't met Mr. Stark yet, but you'll see."

How bad could it be? Move to the west coast, away from mom – now that was a double plus right there – out from under the burn notice, and play babysitter. Sweet.

"You have yourself a deal, Agent Coulson." He extended a hand which the other man shook.

"Good to have you on board, Mr. Westen."

Michael put on his sunglasses. "Just one thing; I don't do the suit. Black isn't my colour."

End
 
 
Becky: Iron Man Tony awesomebeeej on July 7th, 2008 06:51 pm (UTC)
The thought of Jeffrey Donovan's spy guy staying oh so very close to Tony at all times is sending me to my happy place. ;)
Ithithildyn on July 7th, 2008 06:54 pm (UTC)
[snorfle] I was actually elaborating on my crack fic idea this weekend and said I could definitely go for a threesome -- Tony, Micheal, and Fiona [g]
(no subject) - dejla on July 8th, 2008 02:33 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Chris: Happy Chappysharpiesgal on July 7th, 2008 06:56 pm (UTC)
Nin shouldn't have yelled at ya. This was made of win...lol

Ithithildyn on July 7th, 2008 07:11 pm (UTC)
Hopefully I got it out of my system!
Direwraithedirewraithe on July 7th, 2008 07:18 pm (UTC)
All I can hear in my head is one of Weston's patented voiceovers...

"When protecting billionaire playboy superheroes, three things must always be remembered... he will get into trouble if you try and stop him from doing so, the trouble will always be your fault, and if you try and avoid the trouble it will come and find you..."
Ith: Iron Man -  Partyithildyn on July 7th, 2008 07:21 pm (UTC)
LOL!
rodlox: going to hugrodlox on July 7th, 2008 07:19 pm (UTC)
Tony'll get to the West Coast...and find Fiona already there, waiting for him. ;D

excellent fic!
Ithithildyn on July 7th, 2008 07:22 pm (UTC)
I'm sure she will be!

Thanks :)
Megan Queenkesomon on July 7th, 2008 07:23 pm (UTC)
Oh god, MORE. Please!
Ith: Art - Pink Poolithildyn on July 7th, 2008 07:26 pm (UTC)
We'll see [g] Glad you enjoyed it :)
Julie, betrayer of the literary tradition: ironman - soapy_chk89splash_the_cat on July 7th, 2008 07:34 pm (UTC)
This is great! And oh, Michael. The lesson you are about to learn...
Ith: Iron Man - Tony B&Withildyn on July 7th, 2008 07:39 pm (UTC)
Thanks, I'm glad you enjoyed it!

And to think this all sorta started because I had a mental image of Fiona rummaging in Tony's fridge for a yogurt [g]
bewize: Burn Notice: Firedficwize on July 7th, 2008 07:47 pm (UTC)
This is totally made of awesome and win and I think I love you a little bit. (Nice to meet you by the way. *lol*)

Oh, God. The things you've just done to my brain.

*whimpers*

I like it so so so much...
Ith: Iron Man -  Partyithildyn on July 7th, 2008 07:50 pm (UTC)
LOL! Nice to meet you too! Sorry about your brain though. Totally unintentional!

I'm very glad you enjoyed it! Thanks for reading. And I hope the brain is better soon [g]
(no subject) - ficwize on July 7th, 2008 07:53 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ithildyn on July 7th, 2008 07:57 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ficwize on July 7th, 2008 08:09 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ithildyn on July 7th, 2008 08:15 pm (UTC) (Expand)
.hackthis on July 7th, 2008 08:29 pm (UTC)
Now that's a cracker of an idea if ever I read one. Just one small thing, it's actually spelled Westen with an -en not an -on.
Ithithildyn on July 7th, 2008 08:31 pm (UTC)
Ack! Crud! Thank you! [baps brain]
(no subject) - hackthis on July 12th, 2008 04:51 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ithildyn on July 12th, 2008 05:28 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - hackthis on July 14th, 2008 07:52 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ithildyn on July 14th, 2008 08:26 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Marcus L. Rowlandffutures on July 7th, 2008 08:37 pm (UTC)
I give it four days for Tony to make a pass at Michael's girlfriend, about the same time for Fee to get jealous of Pepper, a week for Michael's mother to make a pass at "that nice Mr. Jarvis" over the phone, and ten days before Michael quits...



Edited at 2008-07-07 08:38 pm (UTC)
Ith: Art - Haida Maskithildyn on July 7th, 2008 08:40 pm (UTC)
Michael's mom making a pass at Jarvis! [snicker]
(no subject) - dejla on July 8th, 2008 02:32 pm (UTC) (Expand)
mymatedavemymatedave on July 7th, 2008 08:44 pm (UTC)
Just the idea of this is worthy of applause. Bravo!
Ith: Art - Haida Maskithildyn on July 7th, 2008 08:47 pm (UTC)
Thank you :)
some_day_soling: Martinisome_day_soling on July 8th, 2008 01:56 am (UTC)
HeeHeeHee! I love it!

And I need a Tony Stark Icon. I'm going to have to peruse yours again.
Ithithildyn on July 8th, 2008 02:48 am (UTC)
Glad you liked it :)
Ninjababe: Burn Notice - Fininjababe on July 8th, 2008 01:59 am (UTC)
I haven't read yet, but I have to say...

You rock.

Booya!

Now, to read it!
Ninjababe: Burn Notice-Michaelninjababe on July 8th, 2008 02:36 am (UTC)
OK... I've read it. And, I repeat: You rock.

How bad could it be? Move to the west coast, away from mom – now that was a double plus right there – out from under the burn notice, and play babysitter. Sweet.

Ah, famous last words... Especially when Fi shows up...

And, damn you! You caused me to commit fic!

Go Here
(no subject) - ithildyn on July 8th, 2008 02:47 am (UTC) (Expand)
I will call her George: Ironmanstrangevisitor7 on July 8th, 2008 04:48 am (UTC)
I loved this! Perfect voices. How did I miss it today - good thing I was collecting for the Crossover news letter. LOL

I can't wait to see where this goes. Is Fi coming along? - Tony would just love her!

Ithithildyn on July 8th, 2008 05:54 am (UTC)
I didn't realize you hadn't seen it. When you said you were looking forward to reading it, I thought you meant it was in your queue to read [g] Hence my replies.
(no subject) - strangevisitor7 on July 8th, 2008 12:30 pm (UTC) (Expand)
izhilzhaizhilzha on July 8th, 2008 07:17 am (UTC)
Oh, this is completely made of win. *g*
Ith: Art - Lily Pondithildyn on July 8th, 2008 03:52 pm (UTC)
Thank you very much :)
dejladejla on July 8th, 2008 02:31 pm (UTC)
Oh, this is hysterical. Babysitting, my ass--Michael's going to be fighting for hazard pay!
Ith: Art - Pink Poolithildyn on July 8th, 2008 03:52 pm (UTC)
LOL! How true!
Nessa/Kellinessa5 on July 8th, 2008 03:18 pm (UTC)
I'll add to the squeeeee
that was fun
thank you
I'm going to send a copy to my hubby, he likes both Burn Notice and Iron Man.
:)
Ith: Art - Royo: Burnithildyn on July 8th, 2008 03:52 pm (UTC)
I'm glad you enjoyed it :) Hope hubby does too!
lizbet0: Tony's eyeslizbet0 on July 9th, 2008 03:14 am (UTC)
I just finished watching a Burn Notice DVD, so this is particularly special for me right now! *sighs happily*

This is just such fabulous crack!fic! *grins madly* Please tell me you're considering doing more?!

*sending hugs & plot bunnies your way*
lizbet0lizbet0 on July 9th, 2008 03:15 am (UTC)
(P.S. Thanks for making such a lovely icon for me to use, too!)
(no subject) - ithildyn on July 9th, 2008 03:19 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ithildyn on July 9th, 2008 03:19 am (UTC) (Expand)
ShadowHuntress Deliverance: Norrington is a man of honor and dutyshadowhuntress on July 9th, 2008 06:51 am (UTC)
OH GOD YES. Wonderful idea and brilliantly executed. It left me with such a huge smile on my face. :-D
Ith: Art - Callanishithildyn on July 9th, 2008 03:42 pm (UTC)
Thank you :) I'm glad you enjoyed it!
Julie Frost, SFF writer: Tony Stark--Anteatersagilebrit on July 14th, 2008 05:43 pm (UTC)
How bad could it be?

Oh, Michael, honey, you have NO IDEA. LMAO.

We watched the BN pilot last night. YUM.
Ith: Iron Man -  Partyithildyn on July 14th, 2008 05:48 pm (UTC)
Isn't BN awesome?

I think poor Micheal will be wishing for Miami in short order!
oxoniensis: fandom: bn burnedoxoniensis on April 5th, 2009 09:55 pm (UTC)
Loved this!
Ith: Art - Wildwoodithildyn on April 5th, 2009 10:13 pm (UTC)
Thank you!